3 ways to diffuse a temper tantrum

I’ve been incredibly lucky, in the years I’ve been doing childcare I’ve only had to deal with a few toddler explosions; and only, so far, from mine own.

Tantrums happen, I don’t believe that any parent gets away scott free. Instead we have to develop our own schemes and strategies to respond to these upwellings. Frequently they are born of frustration, toddlers have so much tumbling around in their minds that they often struggle to get it out using the few words they have. Often this is compounded as they reach a developmental milestone - I remember a week of stropiness, followed by the ability to use the past tense quite well indeed. Or perhaps its a situation where the toddler feels insecure in the midst of a barrage of new experiences; like theme parks, parties, or the bright glow of the supermarket. The Rev’d Welikeplay quite often warns of the post-baptism freak out, usually the day after a family event where the child is simply hacked-off with being passed around.

Top 3 tantrum tips:

Avoid
After one or two tantrums you may start to notice a pattern, say they occur in the biscuit aisle of Sainsburys; a fairly common location by all accounts. So simply, and if possible, don’t go there. Likewise if they explode at 4pm, consider a little snack to top up their energy reserves. Parents and carers become very good at this kind of analysis, seeking our root causes; as it is very seldom that they happen for no reason. Though beware reason - children, and for that matter adults too, don’t have to be reasonable, rather only mustering what appears from the outside to be logic.

Distract
Growing up my boys must have thought the local supermarket was infested with blue-haired individuals, as whenever a blow-out was brewing I’d ’spot’ some cool hair. We’d then spend the rest of the trip haring around corners trying to catch this figment of my imagination. You may want to tailor this approach to your particular child, populate your road with unicorns, or for the more credulous, puppies. Goggle in amazement at the imaginary hotrod that has just purred around the corner.
If honesty without bounds is your thing, then find delight in the world around you. The world is an amazing place without blue-haired goons, or unicorns; find these things and distract the toddler.

Bribery
It isn’t low, and it isn’t despicable. But it must be used with care, having a child that will fake a screamer to get their reward would be counter-productive. There are times though, like at weddings and siblings parent’s evenings where bribery has its own place. I still carry a Bob the Builder box of raisins (little things in a little container take longer to eat) in the bottom of my omni-bag… though I really should check to see if they’re still edible, it’s been a blessed while.

So enjoy, the smoke and mirrors approach keeps you sane, and perhaps imparts some social skills to your progeny too.

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