Yesterday I was left in a quandary by a very interesting post was passed my way by the good algorithms at del.icio.us.  Asha Dornfest of Parent Hacks has a guest post at Zen Habits; there is a parent hacking mentality that seeks to make life easier by taking the philosophy of ‘take it, break it and use it to your advantage’ and applying it to life.  These good men and women who taught me, among other things, to use ice-cube trays as paint easels.

Asha writes about getting organised as a backbone of ‘optimised’ parenting, along with a top list of other bits to read.  But it’s a sentiment that I’m in the uncomfortable position of agreeing with while at the same time finding it gives me the chills.

Now I’d be about 6th in line to admit to an inner geek; behind wife, kids, parents and dog. It’s those little things like hoarding broken computers or - more practically -being I’m awfully proud of syncing my phone via Plaxo with Mrs. Welikeplay’s pda so we can share diaries and get some time together as a family.  But I’ve been in child centred work for a long time now, and if I had a penny for every child I’ve met who’s been subjected to too much organised parenting I’d nearly be able to buy myself a coffee.  Organisation in a parent is all well and good as long as it doesn’t get in the way of getting things wrong in the messiness of living.

I’ve a hunch that one of the most useful skills we can impart to the kids in our care is the ability to, when needed, surf the crest of chaos.  Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying ditch the diary ,and the piano lessons, and the hockey club, and the ballet, and the museums; rather I’m extolling a middle way which allows for hanging out and doing little but creating space for imagination to arise.  Being organised enough to allow for disorganisation.  Being structured enough to alow for structure to crumble.

How to? It’s been some time since I’ve let my own monkey-boys be ‘boss for the day’.  It’s an unparalleled act of chaos and empowerment… which ain’t going to be happening too often to become routine, ‘cos that’s the point.

tag... playpeople, play, running wild

There is something about post-Christmas detritus; a mixture of panic when you’ve found a little plastic hoojit which obviously complements the lost fankle of some bizarre robo-toy, and joy as it gets cleared and a sense of sanity returns to the household. But before you dump it (to Crumpit) there are a few treasures to pull out of the trash.

After a binge on Pringles and other tubed snacks the welikeplay den has been host to the word championships of pringle pinging. This noble sport requires an empty box or waste-paper bin to act as the goal, which is positioned in the middle of the room. All participants are armed with a Pringle lid or two - which we’ve taken to marking with a permanent pen to stop squabbles - these are then flexed between thumb and fingers so that they pop out, hopefully landing on target in the bin/box/goal. Points are scored for accuracy and style. For instance a ricochet shot fired blind from behind the sofa that narrowly misses the goal is still worthis worth a good 12 points, where as a lazy but accurate flip from a father slobbed out on the sofa is only worth 2.

Time to start stock-piling lids; we’re finding that for a two-kid and one-not-quite-grown-up game you need at least six, if not twelve marked lids.

Enjoy.

tag... play for today, 5up, 8up, running wild

Boys will be boys, or for that matter girls will be girls, or perhaps they’ll be boys and contrarywise. Any-hoo, children will probably be children and at some point, unless you’ve turned your home into an ideologically sealed bubble, they’ll point something at you and say BANG.

You have at least four responses, as you know your kids and hopefully yourself. Pick and choose what seems right.

Do nothing.
Back when I was teaching behaviour management to secondary school teachers this was my golden rule. If you can ignore it, and get others to ignore it you’ll drive the perpetrator cuckoo. It’s bound to escalate, and you may get a couple more imaginary rounds fired off at you; but as long as you don’t blink, look stropy or show any sign of displeasure, it’ll stop. The downside is that something else will become the “look at me”… so try to make sure it’s the washing-up.

Launch the good ship Dressing Down.
Never the greatest of tactics, but it has it’s place. Sometimes children need to have their reason engaged. But be aware the reasoning of a four year old is far superior to your own. For starters their logic doesn’t have to make sense until it places you as a grown up at a distinct disadvantage. You have been warned.

Frag-fight.
This is fun if it’s not a kid you have to see too often; just point your fingers and fire. Most kids have a mental niche for mad-aunt/naughty-uncle that needs filling. It’s an important role, teaching kids to misbehave just a little in a preferably creative manner.

Roll over and play dead.
My own personal favourite. Last time I was stick-shot I hammed up a worthy passing from this mortal coil, then lay there for 5 minutes and caught a little shut eye. Kids got bored, and didn’t try it again.

Your call.

Enjoy.

tag... play, philosophising, running wild

Was going to write a little on the joys of Tag today, but stumbled on this which has taken root my little ones imagination. Extreme Tag games. Just glad I’ve a first-aid certificate squirrelled away somewhere.

Enjoy

tag... play for today, 8up, be healthy, running wild

Daffoldillies.

Kids, my own and every single other one I’ve cared cared for, love mud. Sometimes it’s eventually but, none the less, they get a passion for steaming great lumps of rich black soil. Perhaps it’s because we all plant stuff and see it grow, perhaps it’s because we add too much water and make mud pies whilst we’re at it, perhaps its because I’m not above doing all the above inside on really cold days.

Yesterday the weather here changed; suddenly I had queues of three at the door whilst coats and scarves were being sorted. And Mrs Welikeplay, she in whom I keep my concept of time, reminded me it was the end of bulb planting time. In past years I’ve planted many bulbs with small kids. Usually in pots to take home, sometimes in my garden and on one occasion - as guerrilla gardening, with permission - in someone-else’s garden.

For indoor potting

You will need
Pots
(You can pick these up for free at good garden centres and the local recycling centre/dump)
Daffodil bulbs
(for pots I like ‘Jetfire’ with it’s orange middle; for gardens I’ve used a Bridal Crown/King Alfred mix for two overlapping flowering times)
Compost - homemade if possible.
(If your kids are of an eating soil stage, you might want to microwave a bowl of compost for about 4-5 minutes and allow to cool, to kill off some of the germs and bugs. The bulbs like this too.)
Trowels/spoons/hands
and, if you’re likely to get lynched for carpet gardening, a floor sheet

Half fill pots with compost, add 5 or so bulbs and cover. Water, and place outside against the wall of your house. Return indoors, add more mud to the rest of the compost and smear liberally everywhere you can reach.

Enjoy.

tag... play for today, 2up, 3up, gardening, running wild

Bizarre name, good game.  Imagine the classic playground stuck-in-the-mud without the crawling.

This game has become a firm favourite in the  welikeplay garden for the last 6 months, since the boys were taught it by one of their growed-up friends.  She, in turn, had been off on a disability equality course where she had been introduced to the game, as one with greater accessibility.  It also growed-up players to join in.

The classic stuck-in-the-mud is a game of tag, where the one who is it has the sticky touch.  When tagged you must stand still with legs apart until another player crawls between your legs to free you.  A great game, except if you have mobility difficulties, or are a barrel-chested 32 year old; then it kind of precludes you.

Toilet tag is a new spin on this game.  When you are tagged you have to stand in an ‘I’m a little teapot’ / 70s  camp stereotype pose.  You’re then freed by others coming up to you and flushing your hand handle and whooping FLUSH out really loud.  Lots of giggles.  Lots of players.

Enjoy.

tag... play for today, 3up, 5up, be healthy, running wild, traditional games